I am leaving. I am not sure I will be back. I am not sure. I need a break. I need something more than all these words suffocating me. I hurt. I ache….I have been standing in my loneliness for so long that I can’t remember what it is to not feel lonely. I have be handling it. Pressing on and holding it down for a very long time. I am without question, strong and resilient. I am nothing if not resilient.
My life can sometimes get the better of me…right now it is. I am surrendering to what is. I have got to sit and rest and be quiet and not talk. I am weakened. This is the hardest truth to tell. My heart is broken. I am unsure in every my steps… I can’t stop crying. I can’t stop crying over stupid shit, this is my love, SHIT. I don’t know who can hold me, who can hold me up. I am not so sure anyone can. I am not so sure of too much. What little I know is that Love lives in me. I do not doubt the depth and wealth of love in me. I turn my attention inward to my heart and soul. To listen for the divine. To fill my mind with healing words. To pray, contemplate, and discern what to do next & what should i do…
